Us, This Far

"Familiarity breeds boredom only to the blind and the real-seers know the worth of vows worn polish smooth with all the days." -A.V.

What a quote to live, and in our society this is no small blessing.

Those living this life in pursuit of holiness are the ones who should speak of it. Our girls, future women and boy, future man are exposed to much of what society screams love is, should be, and can only be. Increasingly urged, I write this for them.

Thoughts on this day, our eighth anniversary.

We have known each other, in our one flesh, for 2,816 days. And the wearing and weight of the vows, still true. In 2,816 days, seasons have come to us. Some have been deserts.

They demanded a patience or a surrender.

I am guilty of strangling, choking moments of wooing. I have pursued excellence in my ideal vocation as homemaker... at times to the detriment of my beloved. My body, numb some days with over-touch by six tiny hands.... Those are vulnerable moments in matrimony. Love wavers, it is wild. Decisions demand to be made. Why did love come so unforced, but to keep it is a test of will?

The self wants control, but the he and I flesh union cannot be divided and remain holy, sacred. Why is it hard to just accept a love one aches for? Firm decisions keep us from the ebb & flow of emotions. Yes, this a maturing love. And I change. And Dan knows patience. Seasons won't be hurried. And character is shown, not in the present, but in the retrospect. And understanding comes and ignites. And again a season begins.

A harvest... the harvest of those patient seasons sown... it is for him, it is for me... it is a mystery- well written by Solomon. I turn off the switch that makes me cringe as he traces thrice stretched skin. Beauty he sees and I believe. Rising, falling with his chest as he breaths sleep... I smile. Knowing this love, it is wild and it is holy and it is undeserving. He pulls me close every night. Humbled I am to be known, to be chosen. For him to take, for him to keep. This, my divine call.

"Drink your own well, my son - be faithful and true to your wife... Let your manhood be a blessing; rejoice in the wife of your youth. Let her charms and tender embrace satisfy you. Let her love alone fill you with delight." (Prov. 5:15 , 18-19)

We marry to a hope, for all the days of a multi-generational faithfulness. What benefits can come from that? A faithfulness that keeps us from spiritual divorce, physical divorce? Eagerly we explore God's gifts in the familiar love He has called us to- all the days of us. We wear our vows polish smooth and in old age will know how this wild love grows. It is our covenant, it is us.

His mouth is full of sweetness. And he is wholly desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend. -Song of Solomon 5:16