My Sentiments Exactly
This could be one of my most important posts thus far... and I didn't write it. I recently discovered a post on Santa Claus in blogland and it simply describes, with written word what my heart has been telling me... no, nagging me... ever since my little 5lb. bundle, Ali, was given to us. I read it the day it was posted... and just let Dan read it last night. After his encouragement, I decided to ask the author for permission to link it to my blog to share with you all. It is longer than my usually posts, but I do hope you will read it in full. Thanks Again Rebecca! (She has an excellent blog btw!)
Here it is!
I hope this brings you comfort and joy this season... it really did for me.
posted by Jinger at
1:06 PM
13 Comments:
When you found out that Santa wasn't real, did you question what you knew about Jesus?
I felt (in my elementary- tear filled heart) very sad that Santa wasn't real and unhappy knowing that the truth was withheld from me by my only source.
Even in the slightest amount- a trust was broken. If that isn't the breeding ground for questioning truth then what is? My responsibility (given by God) is to present truth to our kids.
I think in that moment I questioned my mother... not so much Jesus. That said, the only Jesus I knew at that age was through her. Nothing about Santa is worth that to me.
Now looking back, I see no permanant damage was done because my mom chose to tell me Santa was real. Does that make it 'ok' or even comfortable for me to lie to my children? For me, no. Again, not worth it.
Jinger this was a great read, thank you so much!
Steve Fox
I have tons more I'd like to say on this subject, but it's way too much to type on the blog. I'll just say that if your kids ever tell mine that Santa isn't real, we're gonna have problems. :-P Love you!
Steve - good to hear from you and glad you enjoyed it. Merry Christmas!
Rach - I read your comment and Rebecca's reply to you on her blog. I wonder what you have to say that holds such volume...?
I did not post this to change or 'condemn' any other parents... only to share what I feel and to better explain WHY I don't teach my kids to believe in Santa.
We enjoy pretending!
My volumes have been said on Rebecca's blog. Feel free to read it.
I did. Ali has asked me about the 'fat lady in the grocery store'. I told her she consumes more calories than she burns... in age appropriate terms... same with babies. I am upfront and honest with my daughter. Even about my own family/past. Even if it is uncomfortable.
I'm not offended by you telling Nat about Santa. Just seems like you are projecting the notion that if I don't then I'm hypocritical... or perhaps self righteous?
Imagination is a beautiful gift from God and I encourage it... don't need to lie about santa, toothfairy, or EB to do that.
Teaching them to believe in something (that isn't real) isn't the way I want to make my kids smile. They get stockings, easter baskets, & will get money for their teeth... PRETEND play is imaginative play!
I think it a weak argument to say because kids will one day have logical discernment that it is ok to lie to them now.
By NO means will I do everything right as a parent... this just makes sense to ME. I'm suprised you are so passionate about a fictional aspect of Christmas.
I'm passionate about the magic of childhood, about kids being kids, about children being allowed to dream about and believe in things that aren't real. The real world and "truth" will hit them soon enough. Why force it upon them any sooner than we have to?
I'm not saying that you should lie to your children for the sake of lying. I'm only saying that to deny children one of the joys of childhood because it makes you feel better isn't right. It doesn't really even bother me that you've decided not to let them believe in Santa as much as it bothers me that you or anyone else would equate the tradition of Santa with the truth of Jesus. Or suggest that to find out the truth about Santa would cause a child to question Jesus.
I remember the year I found out that Santa wasn't real. I felt like I'd just figured out the biggest secret out there. I had successfully reasoned my way through a tall tale... my first in what was to be a long line of "stackin' 'em up and knockin' 'em down" I knew the truth about Santa - now I was officially a member of the Big Kids Club. I had to "pretend" Santa for Leigh for a couple more years, which was just as fun. Its a part of growing up - a rite of passage. Like I said before, choosing not to believe is ok with me. But, suggesting that those who do choose to enjoy this tradition are creating a situation where their children will mistrust them is wrong.
My hope is that Natalie does learn to question everything - Santa, Jesus, her parents... and that I'm there to guide her in finding the answers to every one of those questions. I'd never want to hand her all the answers and hope she just trusts me.
The rampant consumerism of Christmas disappoints me but I still believe in the magic of Santa.
If you have issues with Santa, why not teach Ali about St. Nicholas - the real person Santa represents. He gave gifts to the poor without expecting anything in return (sounds a little like the story of Jesus).
Funny you say that... for the past 2 years I have gone over the story of St. Nicholas with Ali.
We will have to agree to disagree on this one it seems. The joys of childhood are NOT (thankfully) wrapped up in Santa. And your suggestion that doing the right thing (not lying) is wrong well... can't be debated any longer.
Finally, I never 'suggested' you are wrong for doing this... ONLY that I simply cannot. I don't know if Nat will 'mistrust' you because of this... that isn't my concern and I would never judge you for that... so stop declaring everything is WRONG because of my own personal convictions for my life and family.
It's freaking Santa Clause! You guys are going back and forth about Santa Clause! I lie to my kids right now about Santa because guess what, in about 15 years they are going to be lying to me about school, grades, sex, drugs, alcohol, why my son is dressed in mommies nightgown or how that bullet hole suddenly appear in the sheet rock. You guys can worry about that rather than Santa being the anti-Christ (I have heard that debate also). Let's all put our differences aside and make this the best Kwanzaa ever! Happy Hanukkah and to all a good night!
Ha! This reminds me of two things... a post you had last year on Kawanza and the long funny quote in NL Christmas Vacation!
Merry Christmas and Dan says... awesome new bike!
don't get me started on Kwannza! That's another long,long, debate ( and you know I hate debates). We miss you guys! Give the babies kisses from us and I will do likewise to mine. Tell Dan, I will give him a ride. It only has 200hp and will do 0-60 in under 3 seconds.
whew! It's getting hot in here, ladies! =)
Jay and I debated the whole Santa thing a couple of years ago. We have lots of friends who were deciding not to let their kids believe in Santa for the same reason that you aren't doing it with Ben and Ali. After much much much discussion, we decided to go with it. We do make Christmas more of a day of celebrating Jesus' birthday though. Whether it's Santa or no Santa, everyone has to do what they think is best for THEIR family.
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